


Confession

by flawedamythyst



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Improper Use of Catholic Rituals, M/M, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-27
Updated: 2008-02-10
Packaged: 2018-10-16 01:45:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10561306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flawedamythyst/pseuds/flawedamythyst
Summary: Almighty and most merciful Father; We have erred, and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep.





	1. Chapter 1

_Almighty and most merciful Father; We have erred, and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep._

It started in Idaho, on a back road that stretched endlessly in the wrong direction.

"I told you we should have turned left at the railway crossing!" snapped Sam, trying to work out where they'd gone wrong on the map.

Dean's patience was right on the verge of breaking; Sam could hear it in his voice. "We went that way before! It would have just taken us back to the field with the dead sheep."

"That was a different road," Sam replied, before hesitating and admitting, "I think."

"Sam, do you have any idea where we are?" asked Dean, his eyes narrowing.

"Uh...yes?"

Dean pulled the Impala over with a squeal of brakes.

"Show me the map," he demanded.

"Jesus, Dean," grumbled Sam, handing it over, and putting his finger on where he thought they were. "Look, we're on this road. Somewhere."

Dean studied the map for a long moment. "Sam...if we'd been driving on that road for as long as we've been driving on _this_ road, we'd be in Wyoming by now."

"What? Give me that map." Sam snatched it back, and frowned down at it. Damnit, Dean was right. He traced back the lines on the map, and tried to work out where they'd gone wrong. "Oh...well, maybe we're on this road instead."

"Sam! We're going to have to backtrack for miles. It's gonna add an hour to our journey!"

"It was a simple mistake! No need to get mad!"

"Maybe if you'd been paying more attention to where we were going, and less to staring out the window being emo, we'd be in Wyoming by now!"

"Oh, sure, because you've never got lost! If you're so damned perfect, why don't you map read, and let me drive for once?"

"Because the only time this car has ever been totalled was when you were driving - I'm not risking that again!"

"THAT WAS A DEMON!"

When the kiss came, it was sudden and angry, as if the come-back that Sam had been expecting had somehow been translated into a physical action. He gasped with surprise under Dean's mouth, then couldn't stop himself from kissing back, hot and heavy and almost violent with passion.

 

 

_We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts._

The next time it happened, they were two weeks and four states away. Dean backed him up against a wall in their motel room and kissed him with everything he had, halfway through a debate about whether the shockingly pink décor was slightly creepy or just hideous. Sam didn't let surprise hold him back for a second; he held on to Dean's shoulders and pulled him closer, let him explore Sam's mouth and push his hands under Sam's shirt.

It ended the same way that it had in the car, with Dean pulling back, suddenly coming to his senses and trying to get away. This time, though, when he tried to move away, Sam kept hold of him.

"Dean," he said, "Please." Dean hesitated, and Sam leaned down, his mouth hovering over Dean's. "I want this," he admitted. Dean made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat, then gave in, pushing forward to close the tiny distance between them.

 

 

_We have offended against thy holy laws._

"It's incest, Sam!"

"And?" Okay, so maybe Sam was faking some of his nonchalance about the whole 'completely immoral' thing, but he knew that if he showed the slightest bit of doubt, Dean would build a wall around this thing fast enough to take Sam's breath away, and it would all become just a memory of what might have been.

"Jesus, Sam," growled Dean. "We can't do this - it's wrong."

Sam gave a little shrug. "We both want it," he pointed out, "We're not hurting anyone...why not?" Dean clenched his jaw and didn't meet Sam's gaze, so Sam pulled out the big guns. "You do want this, don't you?" he asked, in a small voice, wondering if manipulating his brother into this was maybe a sign that he was going darkside after all.

Dean looked at him then, meeting his eyes with a helpless desperation. "Sammy..." he started, then trailed off. "God, Sam, you know I do," he admitted.

Sam smiled and stepped closer to his brother. "Then fuck right or wrong," he said, simply.

Dean huffed out a laugh. "Fine," he said, and Sam felt the thrill of victory. "But you get to explain it if anyone finds out."

 

 

_We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; And we have done those things which we ought not to have done; And there is no health in us._

Bodies moving together in the dark of night, sweat sliding on skin, mouths catching at lips and sucking. Sam could feel every inch of Dean pressed against him, the heat of his body as they rubbed together, and he couldn't imagine ever wanting anything else.

"Sam," hissed Dean, "Sammy." He thrust down, his thigh pressing on Sam's erection as he rubbed his cock against the crease of Sam's hip.

Sam licked across Dean's neck and then bit down on his shoulder. "Yeah," he gasped back, "Yeah."

"We should," started Dean, his hands hot on Sam's waist as he started to pull away. "We should..."

"No," contradicted Sam, not needing to hear the rest of the sentence. "We shouldn't." He grabbed at Dean's ass and pulled him close again, tasting Dean's moan in his throat as they kissed.

 

 

 

_But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us, miserable offenders. Spare thou them, O God, who confess their faults. Restore thou them that are penitent; According to thy promises declared unto mankind in Christ Jesus our Lord._

 

Sam had been sitting in the church for half an hour when the priest approached him. He'd been taking confession from the faithful, and probably wanted to shut up the church now that there was no one left but the two of them. Sam had been meaning to leave, but somehow his body hadn't moved and he'd stayed frozen on the pew, staring at the crucifix above the altar.

"Do you want to confess, my son?"

Sam looked away from Jesus. He'd come here hoping to gain inspiration for a way to break Dean's deal, but somehow his mind had drifted away, remembering how Dean had sounded when he'd pressed inside Sam last night, and wondering if God was judging them. He'd never done something which was so clearly a sin before. "There's nothing that God won't forgive, is there?" he asked, although he already knew the answer.

"Of course not," said the priest. "His mercy is infinite."

Sam nodded slowly. "But you have to be penitent first, right?" And that was the problem he'd been stumbling on as he sat there, trying to find a way to pray, trying to work out what he should be praying for.

"'Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out'," quoted the priest. "Repentance is the key to confession."

Sam nodded and stood up. "Then I'm sorry for taking up your time," he said, and left the church. Whatever this thing with Dean was, however wrong it seemed, he couldn't be sorry for it. He was just going to have to hope that God understood.

 

_And grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake; That we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life, To the glory of thy holy Name._

 

Amen.


	2. Say A Prayer

_Our Father Who Art In Heaven,_

Dean licks a stripe through the sweat beading on Sam's collarbone, and runs his hand down Sam's stomach to his achingly hard cock.

_Hallowed Be Thy Name,_

"God, Dean," breathes out Sam, barely more than a whimper as Dean twists his fingers inside him just so, hitting the right spot with a skill born of hours of practice.

_Thy Kingdom Come,_

Sam's legs are shaking now, muscles tense with desperation and desire, held in place for too long while Dean takes his time working him open, enjoying watching every moment of Sam coming apart far too much to rush it.

_Thy Will Be Done,_

"Please," gasps Sam, "Please, Dean, you gotta..."

Dean pauses to suck at Sam's nipple. "What, Sam? What do you want?"

"Fuck me, Dean," manages Sam, both a plea and a command.

_On Earth As It Is In Heaven._

Sliding inside Sam is like the first taste of water after a drought. Dean can feel Sam pushing up against him, desperate for more, and the only thing that's better is watching the look on his face. Sam's eyes are screwed shut, his head is tipped back and every secret he's ever tried to hide is just laid bare on his face, as if feeling Dean like this is providing answers to questions he didn't know how to ask.

_Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread,_

He can't stop kissing Sam, even when they're both so breathless and close to the edge that it's little more than their mouths pressed together while Sam gasps out half-words that could mean anything, that mean everything.

_And Forgive Us Our Trespasses,_

Maybe Dean's fucking Sam just a little too hard, maybe he should slow down, ease up, remember that they've got a day of travelling in the car tomorrow and Sam will bitch for hours if he can't sit comfortably, but it's too much, too hot, too tight and Dean can't control himself, can't hold back from taking everything he can, everything he needs.

_As We Forgive Those Who Trespass Against Us,_

Sam claws at Dean's back with every thrust until Dean can feel the burn of a hundred scratch marks covering his shoulder-blades, as if Sam is trying to leave his mark on Dean, leave scars to show that he was here. Dean thinks that the marks on his heart are much deeper, and never going to fade away in the morning light.

_Lead Us Not Into Temptation,_

They're both so close now that there's nothing either of them can do but hold on tight to each other and just keep the rhythm; Dean so deep inside Sam that he doesn't think he'll ever find his way out again without leaving half of himself behind, and that's just fine because Sam has always had the best part of him anyway.

_And Deliver Us From Evil_

The noise Sam makes as he comes should be illegal, Dean's sure of it. It must be more addicting than heroin - every time Dean hears it, all he can think about is making Sam do it again, and again, and again, until they're both too exhausted and fucked out to do more than breathe.

_For Thine Is The Kingdom, The Power And The Glory,_

There's a moment just before Dean comes when he opens his eyes as wide as possible and tries to take everything of Sam in at once, when he would happily promise him the whole world on a plate just as long as he stays exactly like he is and never even thinks about changing.

_For Ever And Ever, Amen._

The night always seems so silent afterwards, without the slick sounds of flesh coming together or the moans and curses that fell from their lips. Dean can feel the sweat cooling on Sam's body, and all he can think is _when can we do it again?_


End file.
